I am having trouble posting regularly on this blog. Really lately time has just been flying past me, and this despite the fact that I am consciously trying to make more time for myself.
The last months have been very difficult and wonderful at the same time. For once I have something 'real' to worry about, and yet I feel ok. Cancer has entered my life, well not mine directly but my father's. He is lucky to be able to take a very strong medicine treatment from home but it is still not easy. I feel very strongly for him as he is really FIGHTING a battle against the disease to stay with us, his family. I feel for my mother who is daily more and more impressive in her way of dealing with things, staying positive, supporting my father and my family and keeping on working her job.
It is a curse, really. But it is also a blessing. A chance for me to see how much my parents love each other even after nearly 30 years. It is a chance for me to be able to get to spend more time with them and go home more often than I have in the last 10 years. It is a chance to see that my sibblings are wonderful and loving (not that I ever doubted it). It is a chance to put things into perspective in my own life and enjoy the moment, whilst finding myself and growing stronger. It is a chance to have heart felt talks with my father unexpectedly and make PLANS for the future because we believe in it. It is a chance to feel more loving towards my family because they will always be there for me.
For all of this I am extremely grateful and I feel serene. I trust that things will become better, soon, and this will have been an opportunity to grow.