21 October 2009

What the hell is this blog about?

I started this blog 6 months ago, at a time when I needed to use my extra thinking energy on something else than my relationship issues. I'd started a couple of other blogs in the past but usually gave up after posting a few times, usually because I did not know what to write and was afraid of being judged for what I wrote and how I expressed it.

I have a lot of trouble with self-esteem, on a good day I won't think about it, but on bad days I feel like I am out of place everywhere, have nothing interesting to say and wish I could just disappear out of view and not face my own critical inner voice.

In the end this blog has become an extension of my journal, no one around me knows about the blog so far. I am not confident enough to tell even my family or close friends, maybe that will come later. For now it is just a platform for me to express things that catch my eye, that make me happy, that I create, or inspire me, that I can save to look back on when the going gets more difficult, and I write only for myself, freely.

I like the act of blogging, the simplicity of posting and the history that builds up. I feel the tug to write after a while without posting. I love reading other blogs too and the simple joy of finding a new post or a post that really speaks to me in a particular moment. It is also a simple pleasure of modern life!

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