Dream, transform, inspire

Sometimes it's easy to focus on the wrong things and feel overwhelmed instead of letting them go. To me it seems like letting go means losing control, but in fact I need to realise I never had that 'control' as I can never anticipate how things will go, and all it brings me is a lot of overthinking.

My aim is to learn to really relax and slow down in order to grow space around the things that take a lot of my energy at the moment. I'm hoping to find there is more space and time than the limits my mind perceives, and that letting go allows truly unexpected things to take place.

Picture is a collage and words taken from keri smith's inspiration words picked at random (from her wonderful book 'Living Out Loud')

Falling into the mind's trap

Despite all my good resolutions my mind went completely crazy last weekend, spinning dark thoughts all over the place without control. Turns out I fell into my mind's trap again (it had been a really long time since I felt so down). Now I've realised it, I can spot it easier and avoid getting caught in negative thoughts and focus on centering myself again... This little doodle dragon was inhabiting my brain, I got him out on paper, hopefully he won't get me again.

Serenity and an open heart

At the moment I am struggling with letting go and accepting things as they come. I can feel I am tense and trying to keep things going the way I want or the way I believe things should go. It is exhausting and frustrating because in reality there is only so much I can control.

My reaction then is to want to completely give up on what I'm finding difficult, not even to give it a chance in order not to face my fears and potential 'failure'. But actually I'm realising I need to stop my constant thoughts and just accept to go along with what happens and see where it leads me, without tensing up and expecting the blow before I manage to make it fail. Maybe there is no bad surprise, maybe my fears and anticipation have nothing to do with the amazing potential of what could happen.

So I have written a magic message to keep in mind when I need to stop the thoughts in my head:

I decide to welcome whatever happens with serenity and an open heart.

Let's see if it works...

Forest of visions

This is the collage I made with the flyers I got at the awesome balkan music party. The name 'forest of visions' brings up all sorts of ideas in my mind, like seeing things before they happen and lots of intertwined visions... I love the cat with x-ray vision (funny enough I was to meet a similar cat in the next days... coincidence?!)

Random images

I've been busy trying to keep up with regular visual journalling. It sometimes feels like a need, spending a 1/2 hour on it really relaxes my mind. I also realise it leads me to having my eyes more open and picking out interesting images in magazines to play around with. This is an old car that was pulled out from a lake somewhere after many many years. A strange subject to start from but is was fun to work with.

However, I find that I am not always as receptive to images. Sometimes I can pick up a magazine with the intent of cutting out some pictures, patterns or words but I find nothing. At other times every snippet of colour is an inspiration.

I also start seeing the potential in other places too: I was handed loads of flyers at a concert last week and they were the basis for a collage. I'll post it once I have a chance to scan it in the next days.

Speaking of inspiration

I am addicted to blog surfing to discover new things and find inspiration. Here are two blogs that have made me smile and started ideas boiling in my brain...

Michael Nobbs has a made a free eBook with tips and ideas on how to start drawing your life. It is in a more readable format than the printable versions on flickr, and beautifully presented with his own drawings, lots of suggestions to just pick up and draw! (and it goes for anything creative really)

A wonderful series on mini-journaling written by Lisa Sonora Beam with lots of beautiful colourful pictures, ideas of things to do and advice about fighting our fears etc.

Inspire

While I was making this page in my visual journal, I picked out a random word cut out from my the Living Out Loud book by keri smith. The word was INSPIRE. It got me thinking a little about what it meant...

I tend to mostly think in terms of looking for inspiration, rather than actually inspiring, though I hope I do and will inspire people from time to time, even without knowing it.

Then the thought came to me that inspiration in French means both: inspiration and breathing in! It seemed so appropriate to me who is always trying to remember to breathe properly in order not to be overwhelmed.

Good mail day

I wish I could receive hand-written mail and coloured envelopes everyday! I love finding a package or an original looking envelope with unusual stamps on the stairs up to my flat (hell, I even like looking at my neighbours' envelopes and thinking about what they may contain and where they are from!).

Whilst surfing the web I just found a wonderful blog celebrating the joys of snail mail. I'm happy to know I am not alone in my passion for mail, in a world where most of my friends prefer to keep in touch via facebook. I totally love the concept of 'good mail day', the day where you find a letter you weren't expecting smiling at you with news from a far away friend, the day when you are running late and on your way out you find an envelope that sends you off on your day with happiness.

The blog has great pictures and ideas of awesome things sent in the mail. It's inspiring, I know what I will do this weekend, there a few friends I haven't written to in a while!

1 year

Today is the anniversary of starting this blog. Though I don't have a real direction for it, I really enjoy having this online platform to express my thoughts. To think a whole year has passed already and so much is happening in my life... At the same time I feel so much more grounded than I was a year ago, so much more ME in a way.

This simple collage I made shakes up something in me. I love the big open window with a large view and the letters vaguely seen through transparency, like a sign that it is OK to look wide and also show who you are underneath. I'm starting to realise that many unconscious thoughts come to the surface when I do collages, visual journal pages, doodles.

Making sense

Spring is finally here, the days are longer, flowers are popping up all over the place after the long and cold winter we've had. It's great to see the growth of nature that nothing can stop, and the beauty of each little flower.

This is a period of shakiness on my feet, not knowing where to turn to and feeling a bit lost. But I'm hanging in there, with the hope that it will all make sense soon, or at some stage, like spring after winter...