1 year

Today is the anniversary of starting this blog. Though I don't have a real direction for it, I really enjoy having this online platform to express my thoughts. To think a whole year has passed already and so much is happening in my life... At the same time I feel so much more grounded than I was a year ago, so much more ME in a way.

This simple collage I made shakes up something in me. I love the big open window with a large view and the letters vaguely seen through transparency, like a sign that it is OK to look wide and also show who you are underneath. I'm starting to realise that many unconscious thoughts come to the surface when I do collages, visual journal pages, doodles.

Making sense

Spring is finally here, the days are longer, flowers are popping up all over the place after the long and cold winter we've had. It's great to see the growth of nature that nothing can stop, and the beauty of each little flower.

This is a period of shakiness on my feet, not knowing where to turn to and feeling a bit lost. But I'm hanging in there, with the hope that it will all make sense soon, or at some stage, like spring after winter...

Playing around

More fun in the Moleskine... when I start I never know where it will go. Just painting the background is relaxing and it lays a basis for the rest, guides the colour code and chases away the fear of the white page. It's important to remember to play, like children, without the need to know where we are heading or if it will be good, just following the path the pens and paintbrushes take you...

Visual doodle

I'm loving my new Moleskine and the evenings I spend with it painting, collaging, drawing, doodling, experimenting... As I do this I like to listen to Triple J radio for the Aussie twang, to discover new music and for the pleasure of the absurdity of listening to a morning show at 10pm:-)

I really enjoy surfing on the site of Doodlers Anonymous and looking at all the imaginative things people from all over the world come up with. The site inspired the page above. Doodling is something I do spontaneously when I have a pen and a piece of paper at work or at my desk. But when given the freedom to push it to the extreme it becomes a form of meditation to get out of my brain and into the flow.

This was made with my faithful black bottle pen (recycled from plastic bottles) and gel pens. It's that simple

Flirt to convert

I have decided to try visual journalling... I bought myself a beautiful Moleskine (my first!) and decided to just do it, without worrying about the result. It's a journal, remember? so no one has to see it! so I got out my paints and my glue and made a first attempt and left it to dry...

I felt like going a bit further, I guess my juices had started running! so I got out another notebook and made the collage above! I was listening to the radio at the same time and they talked of an expression I'd never heard: Flirt to convert. Apparently it's a technique hot Christians use to get people into church! Goes to show you never know what you will learn whilst listening innocently to the radio ;-P

Travel preparations

I can pretty much split up my trips in 3 different categories: for work, to go visit my family and to travel somewhere new or exciting! I absolutely love the excitement of preparing for a trip to an unknown destination, there's a wonderful feel of adventure. I know it is not necessary to go far away to break routine, but right now I am savouring the anticipation of going away tomorrow...

I am going for a four day city trip to Warsaw with some girl friends that I adore and I am so happy first about having a well-deserved break from work, going to a totally new country, discovering the food, the streets, the funny sounding words, and doing all that with people I am very close to and who are really fun. I love the buzz of packing, trying not to forget anything important, thinking about what clothes to take so I'll be warm enough...

These last weeks and months have been quite trying and I am glad for a few days 'off' to do things for myself and I know it will bring me the energy I need for the coming period.

Unforeseen chances

I am having trouble posting regularly on this blog. Really lately time has just been flying past me, and this despite the fact that I am consciously trying to make more time for myself.

The last months have been very difficult and wonderful at the same time. For once I have something 'real' to worry about, and yet I feel ok. Cancer has entered my life, well not mine directly but my father's. He is lucky to be able to take a very strong medicine treatment from home but it is still not easy. I feel very strongly for him as he is really FIGHTING a battle against the disease to stay with us, his family. I feel for my mother who is daily more and more impressive in her way of dealing with things, staying positive, supporting my father and my family and keeping on working her job.

It is a curse, really. But it is also a blessing. A chance for me to see how much my parents love each other even after nearly 30 years. It is a chance for me to be able to get to spend more time with them and go home more often than I have in the last 10 years. It is a chance to see that my sibblings are wonderful and loving (not that I ever doubted it). It is a chance to put things into perspective in my own life and enjoy the moment, whilst finding myself and growing stronger. It is a chance to have heart felt talks with my father unexpectedly and make PLANS for the future because we believe in it. It is a chance to feel more loving towards my family because they will always be there for me.

For all of this I am extremely grateful and I feel serene. I trust that things will become better, soon, and this will have been an opportunity to grow.

Tasty deliciousness

It has been a pretty cold winter here in Amsterdam, with snow and ice which makes going around by bike a mess! I've found myself staying in home more peacefully, reading, watching movies and cooking delicious recipes. This recent one I had tried already once but this time it came out really well, maybe because of the organic veggies, who knows.

Pumpkin and Egg-plant green curry

Very simple. Cut a small pumpkin into small pieces about 2x1cm and do the same with the egg-plant. Chop and onion and cook it a little in olive oil, salt and peper it. Then add the veggies, when they are a little 'golden' pour a can of coconut milk into the pan and let simmer until the veggies are soft and tasty (Id say about 20mn). Near the end, add 2 table spoons of green curry paste (or more if you like it spicy!). I eat this with rice and it warms me from the inside.

Enjoy!

Man on wire

Man on wire is an amazing documentary about a tightrope walker in the 70s whose dream is to tie a cable between the Twin Towers and walk across. It is a truly amazing story told with very much emotion by the people who helped organise this 'coup'. I was hooked from beginning to end...

Some friends had told me about it and I watched it last week. Funnily enough it is one of the sources of inspiration in the Mondo Beyondo course I have started. Seems like a sign that this was preparation for listening to my own dreams ;-)

Welcoming the new year

I am happy that this new year is here. Not because I didn't enjoy last year (on the contrary it was a year full of learning, many travels, the starting of this blog and regular journalling...) but more because I am excited in what this year has in store for me. If the first days of this new year are to set the tone for the next 12 months then I am stoked: time spent with good friends, outdoors trying new activities, enjoying the elements (fresh air, snow storm, sunshine), and indoors playing games and getting to know each other better... as always the simple pleasures of life.

I welcome this new year with arms wide open like this little guy sitting in my street one day on my way home from work. Imperfect, but ready to take on all this year will bring me!