What the hell is this blog about?

I started this blog 6 months ago, at a time when I needed to use my extra thinking energy on something else than my relationship issues. I'd started a couple of other blogs in the past but usually gave up after posting a few times, usually because I did not know what to write and was afraid of being judged for what I wrote and how I expressed it.

I have a lot of trouble with self-esteem, on a good day I won't think about it, but on bad days I feel like I am out of place everywhere, have nothing interesting to say and wish I could just disappear out of view and not face my own critical inner voice.

In the end this blog has become an extension of my journal, no one around me knows about the blog so far. I am not confident enough to tell even my family or close friends, maybe that will come later. For now it is just a platform for me to express things that catch my eye, that make me happy, that I create, or inspire me, that I can save to look back on when the going gets more difficult, and I write only for myself, freely.

I like the act of blogging, the simplicity of posting and the history that builds up. I feel the tug to write after a while without posting. I love reading other blogs too and the simple joy of finding a new post or a post that really speaks to me in a particular moment. It is also a simple pleasure of modern life!

If everyone has a piercing, why can't I get one?

Spent the last weekend in Turin catching up with some friends who I hadn't seen for far too long...

It was a real pleasure to be in Italy and speak the language again, taste the delicious food and generally enjoy life like italians know how to do so well.

We went for a long walk in the beautiful warm weather (very big contrast to Amsterdam in this period), through a giant market with all its wonderful fresh products, cheap clothes, flea market... Its a nice city despite being the industrial home of Fiat (employing about 80% of the people living there!).

Hungry, we stopped for delicious pizza on the corner of this beautiful little piazza, traditional with a church and this piercing on the corner of the building (made by Corrado Levi in 96). Improbable as it is it gives the square a particular twist capable of surprising the simple wanderer...

Questionning the usual

This is the name of a very cool exhibition in Louisianna museum in Denmark. It was about questionning things and featured many art works including a microphone cloud, an ice room with the carcass of a race car, extremely colourful collages with pins, a radio the size of a room where you are the antenna and more.

The museum is wonderful, it is located by the sea and in nature, with spectacular views. At the same time there is a lot of room for the art works.

I loved the giant sign on the top of the museum and wish I could see this sign out my window sometimes when I need a boost! I put it in this blog as a reminder for now;-)

Inspirational bits and pieces

I love making collages. I have done since I was a teenager. I always used to take my mums glossy magazines and cut them up into little pieces, gathering words, coloured pictures, making little books for my friends or home made cards with them... I'd love to see some of those collage's again. I guess it is a form of art that comes easy to me because I don't have to create from scratch, I start from something that already exists, fonts, colours, photos, drawings by someone else.

I made this collage last sunday afternoon whilst actually working on another collage which revolves around colours. This one just can really easily and I found the colourful page to stick it on. All these words inspire me and I love the fact that dutch and english are mixed... I think I may put it up somewhere where I can see it regulary and remember these important things.

Cheeky monkey

These days have been insanely busy as I have been travelling to Denmark for work practically every week. I enjoy being there, especially as the weather is still quite warm, I am enjoying getting to know my collegues and am starting to have my habits there.

Our showroom is situated in the free-port, it is a very peculiar place and I enjoyed shooting these pictures on my way to work, under the sun.

Going by on the train I had often seen these huge graffitis on the top of these buildings... I asked my Danish friend about them, how she thought they had gotten there and what they said. It turns out its a kind of joke/rhyme: "what does Moller drink?" on one building, and the answer "Oller" (beer!) on the other. To think someone would paint that in such gigantic letters, it must have been one hell of a private joke. I laugh every time i see it now ;-)

Note to self:

Whilst blogsurfing I fell on this site. I really like the messages like this and also many of the pictures on the flicker account. This pretty one I find a super message to remember to cultivate these things, not be passive and the results will come naturally from the universe.

La rentrée

In France this time in September when you go back to school is known as 'la Rentrée'. Since I've left school and uni I live in a more timeless world and sometimes I don't even realise la rentrée is passing by. It used to be synonymous with going to see which class you would be in and which friends would be in the class with you, whether you had good or bad teachers, buying new notebooks and pens, picking what to wear on the first day and a general sad feeling about the end of the long summer holidays...

But this year I'm feeling it again. Maybe it was talking with my little sister on the phone about her rentrée, maybe it's the fact that I've moved to a new flat, maybe its that the sunny travelling season is over for now (I've used up all my holidays), maybe it's the fact that on 1st of September the weather here switched undeniably from summer to autumn with cold wind and regular showers...

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Yesterday as I went to make my omelette I found a perfect egg with a beautiful feather on it! I see it as a positive sign linked to my moving in my new home :-)

Busy times...

These are busy times. I've just been on holidays in Turkey for 2 friends' wedding. It was wonderful to catch up with them and see them wonderfully in love and saying 'Evet' to each other. Seeing my other friends was also great and I realise we haven't changed that much in the last years.

But at the same time I do feel that things have changed and are continually changing with me. I've become much more aware of my role in deciding my happiness in the last year or so. It has changed my way of seeing many things and approaching relationships. It has pushed me to live in the moment more, to be less passive, to 'go get it!', to be grateful and much more. I feel like my mojo is alive and kicking lately.

I am about to move to a new appartment where I will be living alone. I can't wait and at the same time it will be a great change. I feel like I am moving forward, upwards...

Simple pleasures of life: Yoga

Yoga has been accompanying me in my self discovery trip I have been on in the last years. On arriving in Amsterdam a friend took me to the yoga school she went to, to try out a class with her on a saturday morning. I loved it, it was weird, it was intense on a physical level, the teacher would go on talking for long spells, we had to breathe funny through our noses, we even had to sing... I've been going to that center for over 3 years now about once a week. I love the feeling of anticipation I have when going there. I now make time to go to the 1/2 hour silent meditation before the class.

These classes have taught me many things, in particular that it's important to make space for the things in life that make you feel good (even if it takes a little energy to motivate yourself in the first place). Practising yoga has helped me to slow down and prioritise, regard my body as a temple and soothe my mind.

I've also learned to push myself a little more. Last week for the first time I managed a position Id been struggling with forever. It was such an amazing feeling and a wonderful reward for keeping on trying. These are lessons to apply to every aspect of life.

Unexpected arty projects

All over internet people are writing, sharing, expressing themselves, through blogs, youtube, websites... Blog hopping is a never ending occupation. I love spending free time going from a blog I like onto links it recommends and getting lost from there until I dont even remember how I got to the wonderful links I discover.

Whilst busy in this activity I fell on this.is.home.project and it had just started. The idea is to have people participate, by sending first a sentence about what HOME is for them, and then in a second stage illustrating these sentences. I love the concept of collecting all these sentences from people all over the net, and seeing the recurring themes and original or unexpected ideas. I'm looking forward to seeing the illustrated results!

My sentence: At home I don't need to be anyone other than myself.