Falling into the mind's trap

Despite all my good resolutions my mind went completely crazy last weekend, spinning dark thoughts all over the place without control. Turns out I fell into my mind's trap again (it had been a really long time since I felt so down). Now I've realised it, I can spot it easier and avoid getting caught in negative thoughts and focus on centering myself again... This little doodle dragon was inhabiting my brain, I got him out on paper, hopefully he won't get me again.

Serenity and an open heart

At the moment I am struggling with letting go and accepting things as they come. I can feel I am tense and trying to keep things going the way I want or the way I believe things should go. It is exhausting and frustrating because in reality there is only so much I can control.

My reaction then is to want to completely give up on what I'm finding difficult, not even to give it a chance in order not to face my fears and potential 'failure'. But actually I'm realising I need to stop my constant thoughts and just accept to go along with what happens and see where it leads me, without tensing up and expecting the blow before I manage to make it fail. Maybe there is no bad surprise, maybe my fears and anticipation have nothing to do with the amazing potential of what could happen.

So I have written a magic message to keep in mind when I need to stop the thoughts in my head:

I decide to welcome whatever happens with serenity and an open heart.

Let's see if it works...

Forest of visions

This is the collage I made with the flyers I got at the awesome balkan music party. The name 'forest of visions' brings up all sorts of ideas in my mind, like seeing things before they happen and lots of intertwined visions... I love the cat with x-ray vision (funny enough I was to meet a similar cat in the next days... coincidence?!)

Random images

I've been busy trying to keep up with regular visual journalling. It sometimes feels like a need, spending a 1/2 hour on it really relaxes my mind. I also realise it leads me to having my eyes more open and picking out interesting images in magazines to play around with. This is an old car that was pulled out from a lake somewhere after many many years. A strange subject to start from but is was fun to work with.

However, I find that I am not always as receptive to images. Sometimes I can pick up a magazine with the intent of cutting out some pictures, patterns or words but I find nothing. At other times every snippet of colour is an inspiration.

I also start seeing the potential in other places too: I was handed loads of flyers at a concert last week and they were the basis for a collage. I'll post it once I have a chance to scan it in the next days.